Here's the boy now.
Coming on grand he is, too.
Up at 7 every morning, serving Mass.
He's a credit, Mr. Brady.
There was Da in his Al Capone coat.
"How are you, Father? No, that's not whiskey in me pocket.
I know how to behave meself.
Sure, wasn't I in a home like this with Alo all those years ago?"
The lovebirds, Francie.
Alo's right, you know.
Don't talk about Alo.
There was no rows those days. No whiskey. Nothing.
The war was just over and everyone was happy.
But Alo was only half right, Francie.
I met her three times in Bundoran...
...and always in the boarding house Over the Waves...
...where there was music in the evening.
Shut up.
Shut up about it.
I'd just started a brass band at the time, Francie, the time I met Eddie Calvert.
Sometimes you get to thinking, son, about the old days...
...where they're gone.
The pair of us, like a couple of youngsters.
"You put your head in, Benny," she says.
Can you imagine me as Tarzan?
McGlone egging her on.
There was no whiskey then, son.
Only the sea and the waves.
We said the rosary on the rocks.
Us and the McGlones.
We said the rosary on the rocks.
I don't want to hear about the rosary and the rocks.
It wasn't always like this, son.
You'll never know how much I loved that woman.
"May the curse of Christ light upon you, you bitch."
"The day I took you out of that hole of a shop in Derry...
...was a bitter one for me."
I came here to see you, son.
If only you knew.
You have no son.
You put me in a home, like her.
What did I do?
I loved you like no father ever loved a son, Francie.
It was hard for him to say it.
I could barely hear him.
It would have been better if he drew out and hit me.
Well, Francis.
That was a nice surprise.
Sure, if you can't have a bit of a laugh, what can you have?
- Isn't that right? - That's right, Father.
You'll never believe this, Francie...
...but my own mother had a bonnet nearly the very same.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
Yeah, it had ribbons too.
Francie?
Did your mother wear a bonnet?
No.
She only wore scarves.
Just scarves.
Well, she must have worn a bonnet sometimes.
Are you sure she didn't wear one, maybe at Christmas or Easter?
She must have.
No, she didn't wear bonnets, Father.
I always liked a bonnet.
A bonnet is nice.
I said, she didn't wear bonnets, Father.
Did she wear ribbons like this?
Little ribbons coming down here.
Francie...
...I want you to tell me, now, the worst thing you've ever done.
I did nothing bad.
Something so bad, so awful, you wouldn't tell your own mother.
What did I do that's so bad? You big bastard!
- I did nothing bad! - Francie. No, no, no.
Christ! Listen, I did nothing bad!
May God forgive you.
Well, by Christ, you're the good one.
It's a pity you didn't cut the todger off him entirely.
Them and their grass fucking verges.
They're shitting themselves now in case the newspapers hear about it.
Be cripes, Francie, there hasn't been as much craic around here...
...since Bull McQuade rode the goat.
- Now, Father, here we are. - Get in the auto now, Father.
Take care, now.
A great man.
A wonderful man.
But we all have our problems now and again.
The priesthood is a lonely lot, you know.
And there's not one of us that's perfect.
But Father Sullivan was a great man, you know.
I heard the night he went in the mission, I remember it well.
Surely he had us in stitches laughing, you know.
Father?
Yes, Francie?
I want one of these custard creams.
You can, Francie. Take two. They're small.
Take two. They're small.
Sure, a bit of a laugh now and then is what most of us need, I suppose.
But Father Sullivan, now...
...he'll be off to spend some time with his sister in Dublin.
After a rest, surely he'll be as right as rain again.
Father, these are grand custard creams.
Francie, there's something I want to tell you now...
...and, well, I don't want you to breathe it to a soul.
Father Doyle was just saying last night how well you're coming on, you know.
And, I suppose, really, what I'm trying to say is that...
...you know, if you keep this up...
...I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have a little surprise...
...at the end of the... Oh, work away, yeah.
At the end of the week, really, you know.
Poor old Bubbles. What he was really trying to say was:
"Francie, you can have the Francie- Not-a-Bad-Bastard-Anymore diploma...
...if you get out and keep your mouth shut.
You're a fungus on the walls, and we want them cleaned. "
Isn't that right, Father Bubbles? "It is, indeed. "
You're a terror for the custard creams.
Off I went riding down the fresh country road.
Yep, it was sure good to be back in that town.
What are you doing here, mister? That's our fountain.
Is it yours, is it?
Yes, we are in charge of it.
Me and Brandy.
- Okay. I won't touch it anymore. - All right, then, mister.
We'll let you go this time.
It might be your fountain now.
But do you know who it used to belong to?
No, who?
Me and Joe Purcell, that's who.
Well, youse don't own it now.
Who the hell does he think he is, coming in here?
- Yeah, taking over our fountain. - Let him get his own bloody fountain.
But what did they lock you in the boiler house for?
The boiler house was just one thing, Joe.
It was just one thing.
But why did they lock you in there?
I know you're in a bit of a bad mood. It's the thing with the goldfish, isn't it?
What goldfish?
"What goldfish?"
You're some man, Joe. "What goldfish?"
The thing about the goldfish is that it doesn't matter in the slightest.
- Just forget about it, okay? - Okay.
Okay, now, the boiler house, why did they lock me in there?
Well, Father Tiddley and his bloody mickey, why else?
Imagine it, Joe, a priest wanting you to wear bonnets.
I said, "No, Father. No bonnets.
Not until you fork out the chocolates."
Man, Joe, you should've seen the face on him.
- I've got to go now. - What?
I have essays to do.
Essays?
Whatever they are, well, I guess I'll see you on Saturday, then.
Joe, you didn't believe me about Father Tiddley and all that, now, did you?
Hey, that was some laugh, making that up.
Imagine it, Joe, a priest wanting to do the like of that.
Some hope, eh, Joe?
Some hope.
They loved me tonight, son.
And there was Da again...
...playing that lovely trumpet.
When I heard him, it brought back Ma and all the beautiful things...
...like snowdrops and roses and Flash bars...
...and me and Joe by the lake.
As if goldfish and Nugents had never been invented.
I'm sorry, son.
I'm sorry.
Da.
Leddy wants you to start tomorrow, son.
Okay.
- I can help you if you like, Mr. Leddy. - Not now, son, you're grand.
You just clean up around and leave this to me.
They don't like it when you do that to them.
- What, son? - Cut their throats.
No, indeed, they do not.
Not one bit.
Hello, ladies.
- Well, would you look at who's here. - Francie, you're back.
- We think you were at the school. - All over now, ladies.
- Francie Brady, back in action. - Do you know what it is?
- I think you're getting big. - He is indeed.
Him with the big job and all.
Francie Brady, the butcher boy.
Francie, you're a ticket.
What kind of ticket would that be, now, ladies?
A bus ticket, maybe, yeah? Yeah?
Maybe a train ticket!
Or a one-way ticket, am I?
Is that what I am?
I had youse there, ladies, hadn't I? A ticket.
Didn't you get it? Francie.
That was all right. A ticket.
Well, there's one pig that's come to the end of the road, anyway.
She was an awful woman, your mother.
- The squeals of her in the water. - Squealing, Da?
And the McGlones laughing their heads off at us.
Here, Da, have some more tea.
You're the best wee son that ever walked, Francie.
Squealing her head off.
- Francie, where'd you get the money? - From Leddy.
I'm a workingman now, Joe.
Saving up for a million trillion Flash bars.
But the thing is, Joe...
...the real thing is...
...things will be always like the old days.
- Maybe. - No maybes about it, Joe.
Go on, say it the way you used to say it.
- Say what? - Okay, fellas, we're riding out!
Okay, fellas, we're riding out!
Death to all dogs who enter here!
- You said it. - Hey, fish!
- Fuck off! - What do you think of that, fish?
- You spermy little bastards. - Yeah.
We had some laughs out there, me and Joe, just like the old days.
And if I ever thought I had imagined the old days with Joe, I was wrong. I sure was.
But I hadn't reckoned on Mrs. Nugent, had I?
Sending her bogmen brothers after me for shitting on her floor.
Isn't this our lucky day.
Back off, young Joe.
You're gonna be sorry now.
Who's gonna make me sorry?
- Come on, please don't start any trouble. - Go on, Buttsy.
Shit.
Jesus.
She can't even leave the house. Why couldn't you let her alone?
You can give it, but you can't take it, Brady. Look at you!
Whining, that's all you're good for!
- Leave me alone! - Get back here.
Look at your buddy.
Look at your buddy from the terrace, Purcell.
Come on, Purcell. Look at him.
What are you hanging around with him for, anyway?
What does your old man say?
I'm not hanging around with him.
I used to hang around with him.
He keeps calling. He won't leave me alone.
Jesus.
No, Francie!
Francie, don't! Please!
What do you mean, Joe?
Why did you say that?
Joe wouldn't have said that but for you. You bastard!
- Stop! - Bastard! Bastard!
Well, that was a good one, Joe.
Pretending you used to hang around with me.
Gave me my chance, and smack with the rock.
They hadn't reckoned on us being blood brothers, eh, Joe?
Why did you say that, Joe?
Couldn't it have been something else?
You didn't mean it, did you, Joe?
No, Francie.
Blood brothers, Joe.
So long, Tonto.
It's your old pal...
...the Lone Ranger.
You take all of my fish.
You're a friend of Joe Purcell's, aren't you?
She fancies him.
Liar, I do not.
Will you give him a message for her?
Go on. You're his friend, aren't you?
I used to be.
I don't mean to annoy you, Mr. Purcell, but I've got something for Joe.
Joe's not here, Francie.
He's gone away to Carrick, to his auntie's.
And out of the mists comes Dr. Boyd...
...in his Dracula outfit, looking for his pint of blood.
"Stick out your tongue and say:
And while you're at it, can I bite your neck?"
Fuck off, Dr. Boyd, you wanker.
There was only one good musician in this town, and that was Da.
But that was all over now.
All over, that is, only for the flies.
Flies, flies, is that all there's ever gonna be?
Why don't youse go somewhere else, for God's sake, and let the poor man sleep?
God, why youse have to stick your noses in here?
Don't you worry your head about them, Da.
Don't you be bothering your head and worrying.
Want to listen to the wireless?
Then the wireless it is.
Cuba is being turned into a Soviet nuclear base.
Bloody Communists.
We'll make our own music, Da.
I saw your mother, Francie.
She was saying a prayer for us both.
Down at the rocks in Bundoran.
The best music man that ever lived, my da.
We will not prematurely or unnecessarily...
...risk the cost of worldwide nuclear war.
In which even the fruits of victory would be ashes in our mouth.
- But neither will we shrink from that risk... - Hello, ladies.
Doing a bit of shopping, Francie?
Aye, that's right, Mrs. Canning.
I'm in charge now.
Your daddy has enough on his plate?
Yeah, he has indeed.
Well, what do you think, ladies? Will the world come to an end or not?
The thing is, you don't know the type of people you're dealing with.
Father Dominick says the things he's seen them Communists do...
...you wouldn't believe.
Sure, don't I know that, Mrs. Canning.
If they want to push the button, then push it they will.
The likes of you or me won't stop them, you can be sure of that, now, Francie.
Well, I got a half dozen of eggs, couple slices of ham and a bag of tea.
It'll be a bitter day for this town if the world comes to an end.
That's all I can say.
If youse ask me, it'll come to no end, for Our Lady won't let it.
Wouldn't I be right, Francie?
You never spoke a truer word, Mrs. Canning.
Well, best be off. I got to get the tea on.
Ta-ra, now. See youse.
Sure, what chance did he ever have, the poor creature.
...will be seen as an attack by the Soviet Union on the United States.
If only the Nugents hadn't come to town...
...if only they'd left us alone...
...that was all they had to do.
Music?
Joe?
The thing is, Da...
...I don't mind Phillip giving him goldfishes, God is my judge.
But don't let him start thinking that he can get in with us through music.
That isn't the way it works with blood brothers.
Do you think they'd ever just leave the two of us alone, eh, Da?
Just leave the two of us alone.
Hello, Francie.
Hello, Dr. Boyd.
Your father was meant to come and see me a week ago.
Be kind of important that I see him, Francie.
But how could you see him, Dr. Boyd, isn't he gone to England?
England?
- What's he doing in England? - Gone to see Uncle Alo.
Well, he must be better than I thought.
Aye, he's made of strong stuff, Dr. Boyd.
When he comes back, tell him I want to see him.
Oh, yes, you would have to come along and spoil it, Dr. Boyd, wouldn't you?
Asking all your questions.
That's where you're wrong. You won't.
Don't worry, Da.
I won't let them near us.
You see, I love you, Da.
What else had changed since I was looking after Da?
The town.
It was a great big ocean liner that had been lying sunk...
...at the bottom of the ocean and now was rising up...
...all lit up with the lights and ready to sail wherever we wanted to go.
Anywhere you say, Joe.
Yep, you just gotta say, Joe, old buddy.
Except Joe wasn't on the ship.
Would've been good if he was, but he wasn't, so there's no use thinking about it.
Say, Brady, have you a lock of shillings?
Me and you, Brady.
Up she flew and the cock flattened her.
- Flattened her, be Christ. - Are you for the dance?
Are you coming for a slither on the boards?
You don't be looking at the mantelpiece when poking the fire.
The fucking mantelpiece, he says.
My dear, be cripes, that man's his father's son.
Two, please. Me and Francie Brady.
- Okay. - Thanks very much.
- Would you like a dance? - No, thank you.
Why didn't you bring your knitting?
"Why didn't you bring your knitting?" You're a good one.
We're up from the bogs in our boots and our togs, and we'll fix our...
- What are you looking at? - Fuck off!
And they were all over me...
...like the Apaches over John Wayne.
"Joe, help!" I shouts.
"Call up the posse. Get the cavalry. "
Who's gonna get me out of here if it's not Joe Purcell?
But he didn't come.
- Did he? - Don't fucking well come back!
The cost of freedom is always high...
...but Americans have always paid it.
And one path we shall never choose...
...and that is the path of surrender, or submission.
Our goal is not the victory of might...
...but the vindication of right.
Not peace at the expense of freedom, but both peace and freedom.
Here, in this hemisphere...
Did I ever tell you what she told me, Da?
I was only 5 pound weight when I was born.
Cheers, missus.
So Joe didn't want the goldfish?
No, missus, goldfish are nothing to do with me and Joe.
- How many did you get him, Francie? - A million billion trillion.
Too many.
Missus...
...my eyes are getting so heavy.
Don't worry, Francie.
Joe is coming.
When, missus?
Little Francie, when do you think?
He's at the window.
It's going to be all right, Francie.
Joe is here.
Joe.
It's okay, son. It's okay. It's okay.
I let Da down, sergeant.
- It's all right, Francie. - I let him down.
Da! Da!
- Easy, now, easy. - Da!
- That's the boy.
Da!
That's the boy.
There you are. I was looking for you.
Joe, is that the lake behind you?
What do you think it is, the Rio Grande?
Jesus!
Oh, no. Not them Communists!
I got a funny feeling about this, Joe.
Yep, something's not right.
Your father was meant to come and see me a week ago.
The thing is, Francie, you don't know the type of people you're dealing with.
Your daddy has enough on his plate?
This thing is bigger than the both of us, Joe.
Better call in the feds.
If they want to push the button, then push it they will.
So who's a pig now, ladies?
It'll be a bitter day for this town if the world comes to an end.
Father Dominick says the things he's seen them Communists do...
- Time to ride out, I guess. - Yeah.
This old town has had it.
Thank God I had Joe.
Me and Joe Purcell, the last two in the universe...
...on this bitter, bitter day for the lovely town...
...when the world had ended.
Oh, Francis, you've unlocked something very precious.
And you say the alien looked like...?
Well, a little like yourself, doc, to tell you the truth.
Then again, a little like Father Sullivan.
Maybe he took over an ordinary priest's body.
I don't know.
Maybe we should get out of here, doc, before it's too late.
Well, well, we meet again.
You're a long way from the old field in the school for pigs.
What was that, Francis?
Who do you think, doc? Our Lady on the wall behind you.
Me and Our Lady go back a long way.
It's not every shite hawk she'll appear to, you know.
What are you planning on doing now, doc?
So this was the garage.
One blast and I was away all through hyperspace.
Hello there, Egyptians, pyramids and all.
Pharaoh can't come today, so it's me instead...
...Francie from the terrace.
Where do they be taking you?
- Cripes, more bogmen. - You needn't think you're not seen.
They take me to the time-travel room, old bean.
Where I travel through the wastes of space and time, courtesy of Algernon Carruthers.
I knew you were a cowering cur the minute I set eyes on you.
Bogmen, bogmen! Will somebody save me from bogmen!
I heard they're going to give you the treatment.
They'll soon wipe that grin off your face when they put them holes in your head.
- What holes? - I seen the last fella.
He used to stand by the window all day, eating bits of paper.
- Officer, get this bogman out of here! - Do you like paper?
Well, you'd better start getting to like it.
Go on, you Cavan cur. I took better men than you.
The tree trunks had to haul me off him.
This is a disgrace, a person can't get a bit of sleep around here...
...without being attacked by bony-arsed bogmen.
That bogman bastard says you're gonna put holes in my head.
No, no, Francis, nothing like that.
Now, come here, I want to show you these.
I want you look at them and tell me what you think, yeah?
Looks like you'll be writing no more messages on this, doc.
- And why is that, Francis? - Look at it, it's destroyed.
Lift your specs and repeat after me:
Good man, yourself!
Now you have it! Run, kick her!
Into the back of the net with her. By Christ, this year's team is the best yet.
And that's the garage for you.
Bogmen at Mass thinking they're at a football match.
And that's when I says:
"Whatever it takes, Francie Brady's getting out of the garage for pigs. "
Hey, bogman, hold this. And stop shaking, will you?
The thing about Cavan people...
...is not one of them wouldn't give you the last halfpenny out of their pocket.
The best men ever walked in here were the Cavan men.
- Hey, bogman. - You're not gonna bite me again, are you?
No. Not if you tell them that I've gone to Dublin, right?
- Right. - Yeah, okay.
See you, you bony arse.
Here I was back home, and no more about holes in the head.
- I met Jimmy the Skite... - Do you have a dollar?
...and I thought I was back inside. - We're closed.
You're what? What are you talking about?
The Francie Brady bank is closed, and that's all about.
Closed? Go on back to the garage, Brady, you fucking lug, you.
Back off, you fucking round tub of Guinness.
Hello, Mr. Purcell.
Are you all right there, Francie?
I was wondering if Joe was in.
Joe's away in boarding school in Bundoran the last three months.
- He and Phillip went after the exams. - Phillip?
Aye, you know the young Nugent fella he hangs around with.
Son, you shouldn't be out on your own. Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?
Mr. Purcell, I wish you'd stop all this. I just wanna talk to Joe.
I told you, Francie, he's away in Bundoran.
I'm sorry, Mr. Purcell, but I'm fed up with people telling me lies.
You used to never do that.
- Isn't it true, isn't it? - Come here, I'm not telling you lies.
You never would've in the old days. Only for her.
It was fine until she came, interfering and causing trouble.
Francie, come on, now. Calm down.
I know you don't mean it to be like this.
Only for Mrs. Nugent, it'd be all okay.
All like the old days, way back long ago, like the way it used to be.
It was all okay.
That old Mrs. Nugent...
...she was taking over the whole town.
Bit by bit.
Everything I'd ever liked.
I just couldn't believe it.
I sat down in that old kitchen...
...and made a list of all the people that were gone on me now.
Francie, for fuck's sake. That's the best one yet.
Sure, how could Joe be gone on you? Aren't you blood brothers?
I'm afraid he's gone, missus.
They're all gone.
First Ma, then Da...
...then Alo, now Joe.
Gone where?
Bundoran.
You've given me an idea, missus.
- Hello there. - Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
I thought you were the Communists.
- Any news? - Turn back while you still can.
Come 1 2 tomorrow, there won't be a bullock standing.
Khrushchev.
Did you see them rockets on the news?
Fit to blow up China.
Do you think I'll be safe in Bundoran?
Bundoran? Where the fleas ate a missioner.
Can I help you, son?
You used to leave the key under that mat there for them.
Benny and Annie Brady.
"The lovebirds," you called them.
Yes, we have them all here.
Over the Waves, Over the Waves.
This is where it all began.
I could still hear his music playing through the dining room.
Da said they'd lie in the bed upstairs and listen to the sea until it got bright.
We had musical evenings to beat the band.
Lovely, lovely people.
You acquire a reputation, you see.
There they are, there they are, missus.
That's them.
The Bradys.
"The lovebirds," you called them.
The lovebirds, aye.
You used to leave the key under the mat for them.
Yes, the key.
Well, some people come in later than others, son.
Please, missus, don't go like Mrs. Nugent on me.
Mrs. Nugent, was she with them?
Mrs. Nugent?
There was no Mrs. Nugents in them days, missus.
They were here with the McGlones.
Too many people, son, over the years.
Sure, what would I know about a couple like that?
A couple like what?
Lovely people, all of them.
- Youse tell me, missus, just tell me. - Please, son.
You were saying, missus. A couple like what?
What can I say about a man not sober on a day of his honeymoon?
Poor Charlie McGlone, his holiday ruined carting him out of pubs.
As for her, what could you do but pity her? He treated her no better than a pig.
Oh, God, I'm sorry, son.
Excuse me, Jane.
Excuse me, Tarzan. I want a word with you, please.
I want to sort out this matter, for once and for all.
What? You have to make an appointment, now, do you?
Youse fucking bastards. I'll take no more of your fucking shite.
Who wants to be Mr. And Mrs. Monkey, anyhow?
Yes, indeed, it was the end of the line.
Excuse me, moon, have you got something to say...
...or are you saying the rosary too?
Yep, Joe, it's the end of the line.
Francie's coming to get you out of this.
It's either them or us, Joe.
Hey, what the hell do you think youse are doing up there...
...putting out them lights? How am I meant to find Joe Purcell?
What's all this? A hundred sleeping bogmen.
Not for long.
Okay, bogmen...
...nobody try any tricks and nobody get hurt.
If anybody moves out of their spermy little beds...
...l'm gonna blow their fucking bogmen little brains out! Right?
You see, I just gotta find Joe.
You understand me, don't you?
- Where are you, Joe boy? - What's he doing?
I'm here, Joe, come on, let's saddle up. We'll ride out, Joe.
We can ride out to the mountains, eh, Joe? We can track for days.
We can listen to the coyotes at night.
What the hell is going on in here?
Jesus, no need to curse, Father.
I'm just looking for Joe. Can you find him for me, please?
- Sir, this guy messed... - Fuck all of youse.
Fuck off, you spermy little bastards.
Joe. Fuck.
Excuse me, do you mind?
Joe, tell this sky pilot here to step aside and we'll be out of here.
Purcell.
Come here a moment, would you?
There's gonna be some craic now, eh, Joe?
The interrogation.
- Don't let them break you. - Will you shut up?
Sorry, Father.
Purcell, do you know this person?
No, Father, how would he know me, you know, I'm just his best friend.
Yes, Father. His name is Francie Brady.
Sergeant Francie Brady, B Company, sir.
And do you have any idea what he's doing here?
- No, Father. - Good trick, Joe.
Keep him talking, we make a run for it, okay?
- Did you hear that? - Yes, Father.
- Brilliant, Joe. - What do you want?
What do you want me for? Are you deaf or something, what do you want me for?
Don't give it too much, they might start believing you.
- Don't you go overboard, Joe boy. - This has gone on long enough.
For the last time, Purcell, is this or is this not a friend of yours?
No, Father.
Joe. Please, Joe, don't pretend anymore, just tell them straight.
- Joe! Please, Joe! - Stop him.
What are you looking at, Nugent? Why are you always looking?
Is that all you can do, you wanker? Look, look, look, look, look.
- Get back to sleep! - Why are you always looking?
Joe! Joe!
Be on your way, now.
That wasn't Joe, Father.
And who was it, then?
I know it looked like him...
...but it wasn't.
Go home, son, for the love of God.
Maybe the Communists took him.
Or was it the Nugents?
Maybe the aliens.
One thing is for sure, it wasn't him.
Hey, boy, where you going with them saints?
- Lf the priest sees you, you'll get it. - Traynor seen the blessed Virgin.
She's coming with a message about the end of the world.
Don't talk to me about the end of the world.
I'd best tear on, Francie.
We've more to do than drink, the way things are. There's praying to be done.
If only they knew.
Straining to see when she coming.
Might as well be waiting for the aliens to arrive.
And, my God, they're here, taking over the body of Mrs. Nugent.
The greatest alien of all time, I do believe.
Where the hell have you been?
Meself and Dr. Boyd were looking everywhere for you.
- On my travels, Mr. Leddy. - You and your travels.
The hospital rang, looking for you.
Look, I'm desperate to finish here.
I want to go home, get ready for Our Lady.
You go watch the end-of-the-world show, Mr. Leddy.
- I'll look after things here. - Fair play to you, son.
It's the least I could do, now.
Good luck, now.
She told young Traynor she'd be here on the dot of 6.
This is the happiest day of my life.
Hello, hello. Testing, testing, hello.
So, what do you think, pigs?
Will Our Lady come or not?
She said nothing to me about it.
Did she say anything to you?
What?
So she mustn't be coming, then, right?
It beats the hell out of me why them idiots up there are praying.
Now we're right, missus.
Then off I went on me travels.
Everybody was all holy now.
We're all in this together, people of the town.
Bogmen taking off their caps to women, looking into prams and everything.
"This is the holiest town in the world. " They should've put that up on a banner.
I never saw the town looking so well...
...and it looked like the brightest, happiest town in the whole world.
Now and at the hour of our death, amen.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee...
- It's me, Mrs. Nugent. - Oh, my God.
Don't worry, Mrs. Nugent. You won. Joe's gone.
One little piggy went to the market.
One little piggy stayed at home.
One little piggy got bread and beef, the other little piggy got none.
No sign of her yet, ladies?
Sure, she has a lot on her plate, with the way things are in the world.
Please God, she won't be long.
As the monkey said when he got his tail cut off.
After all me praying, she didn't bother her arse coming.
Have you the money for a drink?
- I have me hands full here. - Fuck off, you and her.
There's only one place for aliens...
...and that's underneath the rotten cabbages in the brock heap.
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
Have you seen her, Mrs. Coyle? You've seen Our Lady.
Oh, so young Traynor got it wrong. The square, how are you?
Our Lady, sure, I knew you wouldn't let us down.
Well, Our Lady mightn't have shown up, but Francie Brady didn't let them down.
It was the best show that old town had ever seen.
Everybody back!
Excuse me, if youse don't mind.
You did it, you fucking... Fucking Jesus Christ!
Mr. Leddy, I hope you're gonna pay for the furniture.
- Shut your fucking mouth! - Tell him there's no need for that language.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
Will you tell us what you've done with her?
- Who? - Jesus Christ, will you stop this?
This is doing nobody any good.
Will you, son, please?
I'm sorry about all this, sergeant.
Do you think they'll hang me?
I'm afraid there's no more hanging.
Sergeant, what's this world coming to?
I didn't know you were gonna chop her up too, Francie.
Do you know Mary's shop?
Will youse do me a message?
Sure, but only if you say no more chopping up.
Mrs. Nugent and my ma were good friends, you know.
Okay, then. Chopping up, the end.
- Commandos, please. - Banzai, you yellow sons of Nippon dogs.
Yeah.
We're all gathered here to pray...
...for the redemption of Francis Brady for his terrible crime.
You're doing the right thing, Francie. Thank God.
That's enough talk, let's get it over with.
- She's right down here. - Keep going.
- For fuck's sake, who put that there? - What?
- This. - Oh, God.
- Go and get him, come on. - Come...
- Okay, okay... - Around the back, quick.
Francie Brady escapes, read all about it.
Come here.
Come on, sergeant.
Fugitive Francie Brady still at large.
It is reported that Richard Kimble, only last night, said:
"I have to admit it, Francie Brady beats me hands down."
- What do you see, what do you see? - Nothing.
- There must be some clues in there. - No, nothing.
- Call yourself a detective, huh? - Hey, boys.
Do youse want to find a million billion Flash bars, yeah?
- They're looking everywhere for you. - Do youse want them or don't youse?
- I suppose so. Where are they, then? - In a dung heap behind Leddy's.
Leddy's.
House, you are a disgrace.
I have so much tidying up to do, I don't know where to start.
- How many did he say? - I forget.
I know it was a lot, but...
And now for the most amazing Francie Brady bonfire of all time.
Hi-ho, Silver, away!
- That's Mrs. Nugent's head! - So that's where she went.
But what about the Flash bars?
- There's someone in there. - I'm on it.
Get back.
Go right now, right here.
- Right, come along, come on. - Pick him up, pick him up.
Come on, clear back, clear back. Clear the way, clear the way.
What about my friend Francie Brady? Clear the way.
Youse aren't burned, are youse? It's all right for youse.
And you went in to save the wee fella by yourself?
- You would have done the very same. - I would not.
I'd have been scared out of me life.
Jesus, Francie, I think you deserve a drag of the cigarette.
Sure, thank you.
Or maybe you'd like some more sweets?
Yeah, sure, yeah.
But that was all a long, long time ago.
Sure, you're a grand old topper.
They put Francie Brady in the garage for bad bastards...
...and gave him a new job making baskets.
And after he'd made a million trillion baskets...
...they said they'd let him out again.
You're going back into the world, Francie.
We think you're ready for it.
You'll be in what we call a halfway house.
Between this one and the next.
The next world, doc?
The real world, Francie.
It's time you joined it.
It'll take some adjustment...
...but as long as we anticipate all of the problems...
...then everything should be fine.
I haven't seen fields for so long, doc.
Man, but it was sure good outside that old garage.
The sheep were munching away at the grass.
The breeze was blowing and the sea was singing...
...swish, swish along with it.
Francie Brady had got the Not-a-Bad-Bastard-Anymore Award at last...
...and he wishes Father Bubbles could see him now.
No more aliens or chopping up or any of that old shite.
If anyone thought Francie Brady was getting in trouble again, they're wrong.
Trouble, no thank you.
So there it is, Francie Brady, butcher boy, the end.
Oh fuck, oh Mother of Jesus.
- Hello, stranger. - How are you, Francie?
Haven't seen you for a power of years.
It's not that I haven't been thinking about you, Francie.
What are you doing, missus...
...still talking to the likes of me?
God loves every one of us, Francie.
But you know something, Francie?
He has a very special place in his heart for you.
No, missus, you'll have to stop this appearing and disappearing crack...
...or they'll put me back in there.
Joe loves you too, Francie.
But the world goes one way and we go another.
Do you get my meaning?
So don't go bothering your head about goldfish anymore, all right?
Or a hundred million Flash bars.
Promise me, Francie?
Tell me something, missus.
Are all the beautiful things gone?
No, Francie.
They're all still there.
Look, here's one of them.
Picked a flower, did you, Francie?
A snowdrop.
They're late this year.